Lockdown

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

Yes that’s right straight into lockdown mode into the pyjamas a beautiful fire put on a good movie plenty of snacks also a good mocha what if I dont sleep i can always count sheep but where in the hell am i gonna find sheep at two o clock in the morning in my pyjamas as well good night Josephine wouldn’t I be locked up imagine a squad car pulling up beside me hey lady what you doing out this hour I’d look at him half asleep and say tell me sir did you see any sheep come this way I’m looking for them but cant seem to bloody well find them are you ok lady do you realise what time it is of course I do but try telling that to the sheep they have no sense of time tell me mam have you been drinking hold on a second do i look like one that has been drinking well ah you see your looking a little sheepish there now if you dont mind me saying so now just go home and I hope you find the sheep in the morning I need to find them now sir this late yes why cant you see I cant sleep and I need to count them get on home you daft mare you shouldnt be out at all you should be on lockdown🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣❤👍

Hold it

Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

Ha ha I’m in fits of laughter at this one I work on a community garden and just today I happened to go watering some plants I had the hose in my hand naturally and it’s a hard hose to pull along it’s not one of your normal garden hoses this hose if you werent careful you ‘d break your neck over it so it happened this guy comes along to my rescue not that I needed rescuing mind and he says to me you hold it and I pull it and the first thing that came to my mind I uttered I hold it and you pull it oh my lord I couldn’t resist the pun what kind of a thing is that to say to a lady ah now he says to me and I grinning I didnt mean it like that I know I said ha ha hold it indeed who would have thought watering plants could be so much fun he saw the funny side of it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The corncrake

Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.

Ha I only started using earphones in the last six months .I know .I know your probably saying to yourselves is that all we use them all the time well I remember this day about a month ago there I was walking along and listening to music now I’m telling you this music I listen to would make you wanna dance and sing of course if I could sing i was singing away to myself this day when I heard and I dont know how I heard with the music blasting in my eardrums surprised I’m not gone deaf beautiful voice wow I turned and looked of course I also went wow to myself of course this guy he must have been over six foot long cream coat a blondie if you dont mind I must say he was grinning like a Cheshire cat not bad not bad at all he left a lasting impression and I’m sure I did too you go girl I said to myself Yahoo but how do I know I sounded good for I couldn’t hear myself singing with the music been so loud I probably sounded like the corncrake but I didnt care that was my positive encounter with a stranger I’ve had many but this one was recent 🤣

Fighting back

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

Life is all about learning making decisions sometimes it takes a while to realise one own true worth to believe in oneself is the first step to taking control of taking the bull by the horns and telling yourself nothing or no one is gonna stop you from being the person you want to be dont always wait for someone else to decide how things should be know your own value you’ve got a voice dont allow manipulative people to rule the roost so I made the decision and told myself you need no one to hold your hand your capable and confident you know what you want if some dont like it well it ain’t your problem what may I hear you say helped me to learn and grow as an individual I learned to stand on my own two feet I take no put me downs I dont deal with narcissistic behaviour now I’m fighting back I’m in the driving seat and I plan on driving wherever life takes me upwards and onwards❤👍

Stranded

What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why?

This is a tough one not sure of any particular place but one things for sure I would not like to be stranded on a deserted island why because number one I cant bleeding swim I’d definitely drown and the sharks would have a great time if there were no food I’d starve to death and what about a bed for the night holy mackerel imagine sleeping in a Bush I could just picture spiders or scorpions or even snakes oh my I’m scared of all those I’d pass out before I’d pass in and pray lord take me now dont leave me here if I’m lucky maybe Robinson crusoe is hiding out here somewhere would he rescue me I doubt it somehow what a fine mess I’d be in then how the blazes did I end up here just as well it was only a dream yet my head is spinning must lay off the booze too much can make one believe their somewhere else stranded my eye I’ll go back to sleep and dream some more wake me up later just to make sure I’m not on that deserted island 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Horizontal jogging

You wont believe it I went jogging just the other night. I kept on a jogging unbelievable and stayed up until I got it right. Ah now the stallion he was a non runner I was mad and rearing to go. It’s so amazing what ones legs can do taking it all nice and slow.

River dance they weren’t a patch on me my legs swung up in the air. And the moon it shone so brightly right down on me naked rear. The devil himself was banjaxed for I just fucked him straight to hell. Me legs were doing ninety on that uni-cycle or couldn’t you fuckin tell.

And as I tried to dismount the stars they seemed to wink at me and say. Get back up on that uni-cycle and do a horizontal flip hip hip hooray. Well I was like a swinging brickie my legs got wrapped around the pole. Just like Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk like a mare I was ready to foal.

Giving birth it sure wasnt easy I pushed and bloody pushed all night. For that demon was inside of me doing back flips and putting up a fight. The pain it was excruciating bearing down on me I was ready to burst. Damn all that horizontal jogging that uni-cycle it must be cursed.

A little trike was born sure me legs they felt like jelly. A whopping twelve pounder how did I push it from me belly. No more horizontal jogging I’ve just sold that God damn bike. I should have hung the devil instead but who cares I’ve got my own little trike

IVE JUST BOUGHT A MOTORBIKE  HA HA HA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The old chipvan

What is your favorite restaurant?

I’m not one for fancy restaurants really unless someone else is picking up the bill why not ah now the good old chipvan on a Saturday night out coming home from the local pub or dancehall what is it after having a skinful in your belly you get this mad hunger for chips and fish you feel like you havent eaten in a month they taste so good all that batter on the fish the salt and vinegar chips so Devine oh wow you feel you can move mountains bring back the old chipvan great for soaking up all that alcohol guys you ever come across a chipvan with drink in you gotta try it I can almost taste them now who needs a restaurant you cant beat the chip and battered fish 🚐😁

No one knows

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

No one knows not even I for life is an uncertainty a week a month a year from now who knows one things for sure I would like to better myself leave my mark on society and tell the world I am here I ain’t going no where I want to be heard I want to be somebody and not fade into the back ground be seen yes it’s me I did that I’ve achieved this written a book a play a drama I’m going places even if it takes me ten   years to do it I’m gonna do it nothings gonna bring me down I want to make a difference and not allow anyone to take that away from me perserverence is mine my goal is to strive and stay committed also the courage to see it through no matter what  ❤

Oh what a night

Come on down and boogie theres a party going on tonight. Going all retro with the DJ beneath the disco light. Use your imagination if your daring or come with absolutely nothing on. Come in fancy dress or weird costumes or as your favourite icon.

From hopelessly devoted sandy like a virgin madonna doing the splits. Elvis hadn’t left the building all shook up on the floor we were all in fits. The laughter it rang out contagiously faces awash with utter delight. With the disco lights so dazzling booging away all hours of the night.

Chiquitita was on the dancefloor ballooning wow and ready to burst. Who in God s name deflated her on the night she was surely cursed. The swing out sisters in the corner were doing it all for themselves. Who let these mad ones out they should have been at home playing with the elves.

Russell brand was on the dancefloor oh look at me grinning from ear to ear. Looking like the thing from the addams family out of place oh dear. From nightmare on elm street to the cast from the walking dead. Who the hell let these guys out shouldnt they’ve been at home in bed.

The goose she flapped her wings she couldn’t make it out the door. The mule was kicking his hind legs getting down and dirty on the dancefloor. Boy George got really worried crying out do you really want to hurt me. While the gas man had created an awful stink while running for a pee.

Bonnie was in high spirits whippee a spot prize she’d just won. Cyndi Lauper was giving it her all those girls just wanted to have fun. Shaky was doing the brush stroke looking awesome behind that green door. Oh what a night oh what a night with DJ diamond knocking sparks off the dancefloor.

The party it ain’t over when DJ diamond he sure is a rocking. Looking for one more party hit the gas mans head was a knocking. Just another party spoiler he slipped and out the door he was hurled. While we all danced and danced our hearts out to rocking all over the world.🕺

WROTE THIS POEM AFTER RAISING MUCH NEEDED FUNDS FOR WEST CLARE CANCER

RAISED €2,300  ❤

Nothing between the ears

Describe something you learned in high school.

I didnt learn very much and that’s putting it mildly and what I did learn was simply that the town folk stuck together like glue you see I was a country girl and country people according to the town folk had nothing between the ears and nobody really wanted to be your friend then I couldn’t have cared less  oh keep away from that one you might catch something hey buster you speaking about me you’ll catch something alright I’d say a bloody nose or how do you like hospital food humph of course they would walk off I’m no push over as I would walk home two and a half miles altogether five miles a day home these town people hadn’t seen hardship I learned the hard way without my nose stuck in a text book you allow people to bring you down then your likely to stay down who me not a snowballs chance I had a lot more between the ears than they gave me credit for I never went to college or university never made it to junior cert ah hell educate me and it could ruin me I swear if i had brains I’d be dangerous just dont tell anyone i dont want them thinking I’m dumb🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣